Its a simple concept, we have all heard of it. Now research tells us that forgiveness is important to our physical and mental well being. www.learningtoforgive.com. Forgiveness theory has been used in interpersonal context, with people who have suffered abuse and torture, with nations and peoples across the world. Its not an easy task, to forgive, but again research shows that its a personal decision. Its a commitment to the process of forgiving another person. Fincham, F.D., Hall, J., & Beach, S.R.H. (2006). Forgiveness in marriage: Current status and future directions.Family Relations, 55, p. 215-227
What are the steps in Forgiveness? The process starts with
The first step is commitment, a personal decision to forgive the person who is perceived as the offender. The forgiveness is not for the other person but for one self. Its making peace within.
The second step is learning to let go of the anger as defense against the perceived offenses. Expanding the awareness that the perceived offender may have their own reasons, acknowledge that we are all humans and make mistakes in our lives. Recognition that those mistakes need not define our present and future selves is important.
Remember its an active process- Forgiveness is not the passive acceptance of saying ‘whatever’.
Learn stress management techniques for when anger, hurt, embarrassment is felt. Take a moment and bring the attention and focus on the breath and observe the breath, it helps to calm the mind and the body.
Don’t take everything personally. Look for people who are loving, kind around you.
Be aware and cognizant of your expectations and modify them. The person or persons may not choose to modify their behaviors, one can only control ones responses and reactions.
If you would like to make an appointment to meet with Dr Datta please call 201-952-9905.