Its August. College campuses are getting ready for students to arrive. Picture the dorms, excited freshman discovering their room mates, looking forward to social life and apprehensive about friends and academics. I know a couple of young people making the transition to college from HS. They worry about making friends, keeping up the grades, getting along with roommates, being able to sleep at night, missing home, falling sick, not having enough money, and a whole lot of other stuff.
One of the most important things we talk about it emotional self regulation. What is emotional self regulation? This definition is taken from Wikipedia
Emotional self-regulation or regulation of emotion is the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with the range of emotions in a manner that is socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed.
All of us experience a range of emotions. These emotions are neither positive nor negative, they are emotions. You might feel excited, embarrassed , ashamed, frustrated, angry, anxious, sad, elated, jealous, angry for feeling jealous and anxious and the list goes on.
The first step in regulation of emotions requires identification and labeling of emotion/ emotions you are feeling.
The second step is to tolerate these emotions. Remembering that all emotions are temporary and the intensity will lessen is helpful.
The third step is pushing through the anxiety you might be experiencing at the time.
In my experience Procrastination has to do with regulations of emotions. Sometime very early on in life, we learn that Anxiety is uncomfortable and distraction can be a way out. Writing a paper or completing a project brings up anxiety and anxious feelings , habit helps in putting it off till the last minute. So recognizing and learning to push through these anxious feelings will help the brain forge new pathways. Scheduling interesting activities but taking care of the task at hand first is helpful to deal with Procrastination. Looking closely at the ‘thoughts’ attached to the work is another way to identify what the thoughts are and will help to change them. For example, recognizing avoidance will help in modifying the self talk.
- Take small steps to change the habits formed over a long time.
- Take a Deep Breath and exhale slowly, This helps in calming the brain.
- Recognize the physical signs of emotions- then it’s easier to recognize and let go of the emotion
- Positive support from mentors, family or friends is very helpful
- For more information or if you would like to make an appointment please call 201-952-9905.