I just came back from attending a beautiful wedding. Indian weddings are usually 3 day affairs, with lots of food, fun and fashion ( not necessarily in that order). The fashions were gorgeous, the colors stunning and eye catching. The food was superb and the fun was endless. The rituals, the music, the relatives, friends and friends of friends, all added to the festive atmosphere.
Before the day of the wedding, the groom was being counselled by the elders in the family. He was understandably nervous about the big commitment. His fears included living with another person, changing his lifestyle, and many more concerns.
Here is a partial list of the collective wisdom that was offered to the young man on his wedding day for a long and happy marriage/ relationship.
1. Respect Each other-- People differ in their opinions, viewpoints and perspectives. Its important to recognize and respect the other person's point of view even if we don't agree with it. Use the phrase, “ I respect your opinion, but lets agree to disagree”. Dont let the argument become too personal. A healthy argument lets you learn about your partners opinions.
2. Communicate, Communicate Communicate-- Talk it out ( in a respectful manner of course). Be an active listener. Your partner is not a mind reader, so talk about things. For example, that habit that was cute when you were dating can be annoying now, so talk about your feelings. If you want to take a break from talking about something,its a good idea to come back to resolving the issue later on.
3. Share little things/ big things about your day with each other- Dont shut out your partner from things that happened at work, for example. Sharing builds the bond that will last for a long time.
4. Make time for Friends and Families- Friends and families are important. Figure out a way to include your family and your partners family in your lives. Friends are an important part of life as well. Build a bond with your partner by sharing friends and family.
The list is not exhaustive but its a start. For more information or to make an appointment on pre marital counseling or couples counseling please call 201-952-9905/ 845-369-7627